The Armory
by KnightEstoc
Summary: Where else does a Knight store his weapons than in an Armory? In this case, 'weapons' being small drabbles of varying genres, styles, and fandoms. This is a collection of small writing practices. Go ahead and submit a prompt!
1. RWBY - Sleeping Arrangements

**Prompt: Team RWBY sleeping arrangements**

" **Weiss is always cold, but Ruby's cloak is warm. Blake doesn't mind sleeping with any of them, but prefers Weiss. Yang is a fucking space heater, but she won't sleep in the same bed as Ruby unless the other two are there."**

 **Submitter: It was me, KnightEstoc!**

* * *

It was a cold weekend day in Beacon Academy. Frost covered the windows as snow covered the ground, and not even the Grimm were stupid enough to venture out of wherever slavering hellbeasts spent the winters. One would think that this would be a quiet time - a time for relaxation, for peaceful conversation, for silent reading, or perhaps for friendly sparring to train without any danger. Though, given the nature of Beacon students, that last one might not be so quiet. Probably not, come to think about it.

Regardless! One would think that all would be muffled, since nobody _really_ likes doing anything on cold days, especially days when there's no classes.

"...and I am saying no, you blonde brute!"

"Aw, c'mon, Ice Queen! No need to be... chilly!" A round of groans. "Oh, come on, that one was gold!"

One would be wrong.

Now, the identity of these voices should obvious by now, but let us zoom in. Past a hyperactive Nora bouncing in her seat, hopped up on a sugar rush courtesy of far too much maple syrup for any number of pancakes, past Velvet and Yatsuhashi quietly working on homework in the library, _immediately_ past Pyrrha and Jaune - trust your friendly narrator: don't interrupt their time in the training room if you like having all your limbs attached - and to a closed door. Now, what would we see if we were to, oh, have limited third-person powers and peer into the room?

We would see team RWBY arguing. As usual. This time, though, the subject matter might be a bit different.

Weiss crossed her arms. "Regardless of the situation, there is no reason for me to share your bed! I am just fine borrowing Ruby and her cloak," she huffed.

"Just try it!" Yang boasted. "Tell her, Rubes. I'm like a space heater!"

Ruby looked over from where she was working on Doctor Oobleck's latest assignment. It was a difficult problem, not helped by either the argument brewing behind her or the rapidly diminishing plate of cookies on the table beside her. "She's right, Weiss," she told her. "I used to sneak into Yang's bed _all the time_ when I was a kid and she was always so nice and warm I hated getting up in the mornings. And then Yang was all like, 'Ruby you have to get up!' and I was like, 'I don't wanna!' and then she was like... Um..." She trailed off awkwardly, shrinking back into her seat from Weiss's frosty glare. "Sorry, Weiss!" she squeaked. "But Yang does have a point."

"Shame on you, bullying her like that," Blake observed detachedly from where she was reading on her own bed.

Weiss spared the black-haired girl a brief glare, then returned to the subject of her ire. "I'm not denying that she isn't warm," she said impatiently. "The problem is that Yang's... assets... will suffocate me! Have you _seen_ how many times Ruby almost died? From hugs alone?"

Yang smirked. Her boobs of steel would win the battle, the war, and probably awards. _Heh, that was a good one. Gotta remember it._ "Trust me, Princess, the benefits _far_ outweigh the gains. Or weren't you the one to make all those charts?" Weiss flushed; it had been her opening salvo the first time Beacon's heaters had failed.

"Those were perfectly reasonable graphs comparing relative sleep schedules and body heat output," she insisted. "You're just being difficult. And you aren't helping, Blake," she snapped, glaring at the faunus briefly. "This could have been resolved if you'd just agreed to sleep with Yang."

Blake rolled her eyes, but closed her book and rolled onto her side, her amber eyes shifting back and forth. "Yang is handsy while she sleeps," she said simply. "I prefer not waking up to being groped, thank you very much."

"Oh come on!" Yang yelped, throwing her hands in the air. "It happens one time and you never let me live it down!"

"It was more than once, Yang." Blake let a small smile curl her lips. "Besides, I prefer sleeping with Weiss. Despite her collarbone and frozen toes, she's more comfortable." Weiss's cheeks turned an adorable red, and both Ruby and Yang bit their lips so as to avoid snickering.

"W-well, Yang and Ruby already vetoed that idea," Weiss said, stumbling at first but recovering admirably. "She, for some strange reason, won't sleep with Ruby unless it's with all four of us!"

"And I keep telling you guys it's weird when it's just us two," Ruby said, distracted once again. "It was cool when we were younger, but now, with everything that's happened, it's kinda... y'know..." She twiddled her fingers nervously. "Oh look at the time I have to go ask Oobleck something about stuff see ya bye!" And with a trail of rose petals she was out the door and gone.

"Ruby Rose, you get right back here this instant!" Weiss ranted. Still, it was no use; Ruby was long gone. "Honestly..." Suddenly, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and bodily lift her. "Yang?! Put me down this instant!"

"Mmmmmmmm... nope!" Yang said, popping the P. "We're gonna try this, and then after you wake up you're gonna say I was right." Weiss tried squirming out of her hold, but Yang was a grappler; she could have broken the hold with creative application of Glyphs, but truth be told she didn't mind it all that much.

She would, however, deny it to her dying day if anyone dared speak such nonsense aloud.

After a little bit, they settled down on Weiss's bed - Blake's already being occupied, Yang's being a little awkward to get to, and Ruby's being a deathtrap for more than one person - with Weiss's back pressed against Yang's firm chest. Weiss rolled her eyes and sighed melodramatically, indicating as well as she was able to that she was not amused by this situation and that there would be words later Yang Xiao Long. But... Yang _was_ radiating quite a bit of heat, and it _was_ cold, and she _was_ tired from shivering all night despite the extra blankets...

After a few minutes, Yang looked down to see Weiss asleep in her arms. _Fuck yeah! I knew it! Nobody can resist these pillows!_ If there was a strange note of pride, there should be, as far as Yang knew. Still grinning, she looked up to see Blake watching them from her bed. "You can join in too, Blakey," she offered, grinning widely. Blake just smirked and went back to her book. Undaunted, Yang rested her head on Weiss's pillow and closed her eyes. _Mm... Just a few minutes, then I'm gonna go down to the gym.._

When Ruby got back, carefully peeking in the door to see if Angry Weiss had given way to Happy Weiss - she much preferred the second one, thank you very much, especially since Happy Weiss didn't shout at her so much and there was a much lower chance of exploding by accident or exploding on purpose or accidentally exploding on purpose - she all but squealed when she saw her big sister sleeping with Weiss in her arms. Blake was on the other bed, engrossed in her book, but looked up when Ruby slipped inside.

"They fell asleep about ten minutes ago," the faunus said quietly. "I didn't want to wake them." Ruby nodded happily and crossed over, flopping onto Blake's bed and curling up next to her. Blake smiled slightly and shifted so that Ruby could lay her head on her stomach. Quietly, she started reading out loud, and was rewarded by Ruby's happy little sigh. She knew the younger girl liked listening to her voice.

And so things go, shifting from volatile to adorable one moment to the next. Who knows what the next hour will bring? Who knows how Weiss will react, waking up to Yang being... well, Yang?

Not us. Definitely not us, as we are zooming out very quickly. The reason? After between one page of her book and the next Gambol Shroud is sitting by Blake's side; she hadn't moved, still softly reading out loud, but despite the safety guaranteed to a narrator there's no reason to take chances, is there?

No... This is an excellent time to retreat. Perhaps go somewhere safer. Like a Beowolf's den.

* * *

 **Y'know... This was intended to be a small little snippet. And yet it somehow made it to 1500 words. Huh.**

 **Anyway, this was my first RWBY fic ever (which was probably why they were all out of character) and it's like a rite of passage or something. I feel proud of me. Go me.**

 **Alright then, people, this is where you come in: I don't mind the short reviews, but if you're gonna review I'd like to have a few things.**

 **A) Did you like the story? Why or why not?**

 **B) Did I capture the 'voice' of the characters well? Which ones? Which ones can I work on?**

 **C) Did the more... freeform narration work well or not?**

 **Thanks! And remember, if you have a prompt you want me to write, go ahead and submit it!**

* * *

 **Heya! Welcome to a new idea that I've got. 'What's that?' you might ask. ...Nobody asked that? WELL SCREW YO-**

 **Ahem. Anyway, the goal of this is for me to stretch my writing muscles, so basically I'm writing short (like, under 2K a pop, probably under 1K) snippets based on random prompts. The prompts are either random little things I felt like writing, some things I wanted to write without having to worry excessively about the plotlines or character development, or requests from you, the readers. They're gonna be unrelated to each other, probably not even in the same genre, let alone fandom, and probably never going to have a full story to them.**

 **That being said, don't be surprised if I decide I like something I wrote, and have another bit of it show up later on, or maybe even getting a story of its own. That's not unreasonable, especially if fan feedback seems to like it.**

 **So! How this works is as such: I take a prompt, write a small something, and then post it. No real going over it for much of anything other than grammar and spelling – if it goes well, it goes well, if it doesn't it doesn't. If you guys feel like submitting a prompt, go right ahead - it can be any genre, any fandom (though I can't guarantee I'll know the source material, sorry), and any style you want! Give me a setting, a quote, anything, I'll see if I can make it work. I can't guarantee I'll write everything asked, or that it'll be good, or that I'll get to it in a timely manner, but hey! This is a good way for me to keep my muse active while class is being a pain.**

 **(And if you guys have a major lapse in judgment and want to commission something, hit me up with PM and we'll talk.)**

 **(Don't actually do that unless you're sure you want to commission something. Seriously.)**

 **Okay? Let's have fun, people!**


	2. Worm - Family is Important

**Prompt: Taylor sees her Uncle Jack after so long.**

" **Jack is family-friendly. Tats has a meltdown."**

 **Submitter: Still me.**

* * *

Skitter and I huddled among the rubble. I knew it was only a matter of time before Cherish picked us out. What was taking her so long?

 _Should be able to find us by now. Can find us. Playing with us_ , my power helpfully supplied.

Sometimes I hate my power. But it makes up for it just letting me fuck with everyone and everyone, so call it even?

"Where are they?" I hissed at Skitter.

She looked at me. Not that I could see her eyes behind her mask, but even without using my power on her I could tell she was glaring at nothing. "I still don't have any bugs," she hissed back. "Whatever Bonesaw did still hasn't dispersed."

Damn. Looks like we're gonna be making a break for it. I let my power off its leash and winced in pain as lightning flashed behind my eyes. I'd been pushing it all day, and it was about to give out on me. But I focused past the pain and scanned over the surroundings.

 _Rubble in the west. A building crumbled. A building was broken. A building was broken by Crawler. A building -_

I looked away. Nothing that way. And we couldn't go the way we came, and the east was a dead end... That only left one direction. If we hurried, we might be able to -

"Well, well," Cherish said smugly, walking around the corner. "Looks like someone had an idea. That little shred of hope is so... obvious." I cursed under my breath as Skitter stiffened. I didn't even need my power to tell me the bitch had been waiting until I'd figured out the only escape route. "Jack!" she shouted. "They're over here!"

I snarled. "You think this will make him forgive you?" I snapped, grasping at straws. "He's going to torture you whether you trap us or not. You're fucked!"

"I know that," she said easily. "But at least this way I'm not the only one." Damn. She'd stiffened at my first volley, but I'd screwed up somewhere. I need to save my power.

Still, I couldn't help but look at Skitter with it. _Fidgeting, needed to be somewhere. Promised to meet someone. Promised to meet a friend - no, a family member. Family member isn't her father. Family member is her uncle. She hasn't seen her uncle for a long time. She -_

I broke off, holding my head with a stifled cry of pain. Cherish just laughed smugly. Bitch.

I took a few deep breaths, tried to ignore the pain or get it to a manageable level, but before I could do more than straighten up Jack Slash was upon us. "Hello there," he said casually, flicking his razor in and out. "I must say, it was a _thrilling_ trip. Did you really think you could escape?" Bonesaw was humming to herself, holding onto his hand.

"Just trying to buy time," I said. "We needed you to ignore our teammates while -"

"She's bluffing," Cherish interrupted, and I scowled at her. She's stealing my gimmick!

I needed more. I needed to know how we were supposed to get out of this without being turned into one of Bonesaw's playthings, so I bit the bullet and turned my power on Jack. _Tapping his fingers on his thigh. Impatient. Impatient because he had a meeting. He had a meeting with someone. He was meeting with family. He hasn't seen his family for a long time. He wanted to see his niece. His niece is alive. His niece is -_

My headache finally ranked up to a migraine and I couldn't hold on anymore, letting my power slip away. I didn't even get anything useful. "Are you done?" Jack asked with a sigh. "I really need to be somewhere soon, and I did want to have this wrapped up before one, but... Hm? Skitter, was it? You seem surprised about something."

Skitter had gone ramrod-stiff the second Jack mentioned the time. "N-nothing," she muttered. "It's just... you look different in person. Kinda like someone I know..."

No. It's... It's a coincidence. But Jack was frowning, rubbing at his goatee. "You..." My migraine was on the downswing, and I pushed forth the last bit of energy I had. _Thinking of his niece. Skitter is similar to his niece. Skitter -_ " _Taylor_?" he asked finally, carefully.

"Uncle Jack?!" Skitter yelped.

Huh. My power just shut off by itself. My head doesn't even hurt anymore.

I think my power just gave up and went home.

Bonesaw's eyes widened. "Wait, this is Taylor?" she asked, whipping her head back and forth, blonde curls bouncing. "Like, _Taylor_ Taylor?"

"I... It seems so," Jack said, staring at Skitter.

Bonesaw giggled and ran forward, skipping across the rubble and literally jumping to hug Skitter. "Hooray!" Skitter automatically wrapped her arms around the bio-Tinker, supporting her weight somehow. "It's been so _long_ and I've missed you so much and oh my god you're a _supervillain_ now we can talk about our jobs and it'll be amazing and we can swap stories and -"

"R...Riley?" Skitter stammered. Even if her mask was as terrifyingly opaque as ever, I could read her expression like a book: 'What the fucking fuck?' - paraphrased, of course.

"Yep!" Bonesaw let go and gave her a big grin. "Bug control, right? Oh man I have so many ideas we can try out like bugs with teeth and bugs with arms that can pick stuff up for you! Do you have any ideas?" She continued rambling, holding Skitter's hand as she walked back towards Jack. Sometime during the conversation, I realized numbly, Cherish had come over to stand next to me and was staring with the exact same confused expression I was pretty sure I had. "...And you could have it climb up on them and then take over their brains!" By this point, they'd reached one of the most famous killers in the States. "Jack, can we go get ice cream with Taylor?"

Jack sighed. "We've been over this, poppet. I don't think there are any ice cream shops open, especially now that Shatterbird has sung her song."

"But you promised," Bonesaw wailed, tears beading in her eyes. ...Is it wrong that I felt kinda bad for the murderous pre-teen?

"I know where one is," my traitor mouth said without any input from my brain. "I can take you there, if you'd like." No. No, stop, mouth. What are you doing. "Or just give you the address, whatever works."

"Ah! See, Jack! There's one open!"

Jack rubbed at his goatee and thought. "I don't know, Riley... We _were_ in the middle of testing the candidates, and -"

"Family is _important_ ," the blonde Tinker huffed, stamping her foot. That was adorable. "We can always kill the losers later!" That was terrifying. "I want to spend some time with my cousin!" Aaaaand back to adorable. Forget powers, _this_ is starting to give me a headache.

Jack sighed, but eventually took Bonesaw's other hand. "Alright, alright. We'll go get ice cream. Cherish, do... something else. We'll pick this up later. Tattletale, the address, if you would be so kind?"

My traitor mouth gave it to them, along with some helpful directions. Then the three of them, Bonesaw happily holding Skitter and Jack's hands, wandered off through the ruined city to get ice cream. Bonesaw was chattering along happily. "Ooh! I wonder if they have Neapolitan! Hey, Taylor, do you think we could make a bug that tastes like ice cream? It'd be nutritious and delicious but wouldn't taste like chicken! By the way, do you want me to give you some upgrades, like a carbon nanotube in place of your spine? It shouldn't be hard to replace everything, and you won't even notice the difference until someone tries to break your back."

As her happy voice trailed off in the distance, Cherish and I just... stared. "Why is it," I asked slowly, "that _those three_ have probably the best family dynamic out of all of us?"

"Fucked if I know."

* * *

 **Because sometimes family is more important than the little things in life.**

 **Also because sometimes I feel like writing crack.**

 **(And then Jack gets the story of how Taylor triggered and kills the trio because nobody hurts his niece.)**

 **Anyway, this is another one I came up with. Gonna be honest here – I was inspired by BeaconHill's snippet dealing with the same subject, though I used it more as a chance to play around with Bonesaw and just write some weird stuff that may or may not be funny.**

 **Right! As for reviews:**

 **A) Did you like the story? Why or why not?**

 **B) Did I capture the 'voice' of the characters well? Which ones? Which ones can I work on?**

 **C) Did I portray Tattletale's power well?**

 **Thanks, guys. And remember, if you want to give me a prompt, just give it to me in the review. And if you want to commission something specific, send me a PM or email.**


	3. Borderlands & Magicka - BOOM!

**Prompt: MR. TORGUE SPONSORED EXPLOSIONS in Magicka. Where everything explodes anyway.**

 **"I want to see Mister Torgue show up in any fandom but Borderlands, actually (I don't care) and show the natives the epic power of EXPLOOOOOOOOOSIONS and sick air guitar solos. I'm trying to write something similar, and I'd like to see how someone else handles it."**

 **Submitter: Zenog! (NOT ME! THEY'RE BADASS!)**

 **(Disclaimer: please be advised that there is heavy (implied…?) swearing in the latter half of this. Sensitive viewers are suggested to MAN THE F*CK UP)**

* * *

The world of Midgard is a strange place.

Of course it's strange; it had a school where the headmaster was most definitely not a vampire, things like _thermodynamics_ and _gravity_ were suggestions only occasionally taken into consideration rather than steadfast laws of physics, and on occasion the mad scramble for sausages tended to end in a death toll best measured by the number of wizards left alive rather than the ones that had died.

It's okay, though.

As every wizard knows, death is only temporary.

"Neeber rez!"

Well, so long as your fellow wizards hadn't also died to the river or flaming rocks from the sky or beams of arcane magick that had taken you out.

Fortunately for Red, Yellow had survived and was busy reviving the three corpses around him. It had been Black's fault, as usual, so as soon as Yellow's spell had finished rifling through Death's files and brought him back to life, Red turned and unleashed a fireball on the black-robed mage. While the impromptu torch ran around screaming incoherently and flailing, Red turned back to the rest of his party. "Neeber porgerattun."

Blue nodded in understanding, pointing in the direction they had been heading before Black shouted something about seeing an unusuallly large rodent. Red believed, privately, that it was just an excuse to set them all on fire. Again. "Dattum porgerattun. Ajeeker veene hanet?"

It was a valid question; after all, none of them knew _exactly_ what Vlad wanted them to do when he kicked them out to start their quest. But they'd made do - mainly by wandering around setting things on fire until they could hear screaming, then heading in that direction. There were usually some goblins or orcs, and that was close enough for them. "Ier..." Yellow mumbled, staring at the burning pile that had been Black. "reeber dette rez?"

"Neeber rez!" Black's ghostly voice called out.

"Neeber arrum heratta," Red snapped. If Black kept setting them on fire or electrocuting them or setting them on fire then electrocuting them, they'd never finish the quest.

"...Grier," Black sighed. Now that he'd agreed, Yellow quickly called up life and lightning and cast the revival spell. Once the routine pervasion of the natural order was finished, Black's hands twitched toward his staff only to stop when the staffs of the other three were pointed in his direction, crackling with magickal energy. He let out a huff and shrugged, pointing down the road.

Satisfied, Red and the other two released their magick in a random direction and kept on the path. Surely, nothing bad would come of that.

* * *

"AIIIIIEEEE!" a random peasant shrieked as she was simultaneously set on fire, covered in acid, and hit by a stray boulder. She had only been two days from retirement!

* * *

Red accidentally ran into Blue's back when the other wizard stopped, raising his hand. "Areeber," Blue hissed. "Harker zier?"

Red listened carefully. After a second, he placed the sound that Blue had heard. It was the sound of three... no, four explosions happening simultaneously, while someone laughed happily. No casualties.

One tended to pick these things up in Castle Aldrheim.

Shrugging, the wizards headed towards the sounds of explosions. Typically, one of two things tended to happen when you could hear explosions: one, the source of the explosions died horribly as they backfired, in which case the explosions should stop; or two, the source of the explosions moved on as whatever they were trying to explode got exploded, in which case the explosions should also stop. But these explosions were not only continuous, they were almost routine.

So of course the wizards _had_ to know what was going on.

"DID YOU KNOW THAT NINETY-SEVEN PERCENT OF ALL LIVING THINGS ON MIDGARD AREN'T EXPLODING RIGHT NOW?" a shirtless man roared at them as they walked around a bend in the path. "WELL, THAT'S BULLSH*T!" He was an impressive specimen, or at least compared to the scrawny wizards; his muscles bulged with every shouted syllable, and his magnificent moustache bristled. "BUY TORGUE GUNS AND FIX THAT PROBLEM!" With a grunt, he picked up something from the table in front of him and aimed. A second later, an explosion rang out from the field in the direction the metal wand was pointing.

Needless to say, the four wizards were amazed. The man had managed to cast targeted explosion magic without actually calling up any of the eight elements - and what was more, he had done so without blowing his own arm off.

"So!" the man said, only slightly quieter. "I hear you sh*tstains are on a quest! Now, I could give my whole f*cking life story before asking for help, but that's BOOOOOORING! You don't wanna hear about that, Wizards! You wanna hear about LOOT! AND PECS! AND EXPLOSIONS! I'm Mister Torgue, and I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!"

Red immediately set Black on fire before squishing him with a boulder, on grounds that the black-robed wizard had seemed far too interested in this.

"OKAY THEN!" Torgue roared. "Look at this sh*t right here! These bad boys will separate anything you point them at into at least twenty pieces, GUARANTEED! Just pull the trigger and BOOOOOM MOTHERF*CKA!"

"Neeber magicka?" Yellow wanted to know.

"F*CK NO!" Torgue flexed. "All you need is TO BE A F*CKING BADASS. Just SIGN THIS LEGAL WAIVER!" He gestured to a stack of papers sitting beside him.

"Neeber rez," Black called out. Everyone ignored him.

Blue had just reached the papers when Mr. Torgue reached out and smacked the pile, sending them flying everywhere. "Just kidding!" he laughed. "F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER. HERE!" He tossed each of the three wizards one of the metal staffs he had lying out in front of him. "F*ck it, guns for everybody! Who gives a F*CK?!"

"Neeber rez!" Black insisted. Sighing, Red reluctantly cast the revival spell, and soon Black had a new shiny metal staff of his own.

"SO!" Torgue shouted, recapturing their attention from trying out their new toys on breakable things likes trees and boulders and each other. "We here at the Torgue Corporation sincerely think that this is F*CKING AWESOME! You'll need to buy ammo for these babies, so get it at TORGUE CORPORATION VENDING MACHINES!" He pointed off to the side, where a rather strange contraption was set up. It looked like something Vlad would build, almost. Probably less likely to explode, though.

While Blue, Yellow, and Black went to go get the 'ammo' that Mr. Torgue spoke of, whatever it was, Red hung back. He'd been wondering something. "Ier... Areejit tatum nier? Neeber ardjuken?"

"THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR!" Torgue roared. Red nodded wisely. That certainly explained it. "SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THAT'S HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!" He shook his head and sighed. "AND THE OTHER HALF ARE THESE PRERECORDED CLIPS THAT I'VE BEEN FORCED TO MEMORIZE! IT SUCKS!"

Red nodded. That was certainly -

There was a sound that sounded suspiciously like someone trying to mimic the sound of one of the stringed instruments Vlad had lying around his office; immediately after that, an explosion rang out, and Red found himself flying through the air. Sighing, he stored his new toy in his robes and brought out his staff before casting a Shield to bleed off most of the fall damage. He was going to kill Black for this...

* * *

 **Huh. That was… surprisingly entertaining. I only got in one sick air guitar solo, but I tried my best otherwise.**

 **So. Um… Huh. Yeah, I've never played Borderlands, and my sum total of Magicka is about ten minutes playing with my roommates. So please, please forgive any inaccuracies! Also this little snippet might make me up the rating – I doubt it, but that was the point of the disclaimer I guess.**

 **For reviews:**

 **A) Did you like the story? Why or why not?**

 **B) Did the crossover work? Why or why not?**

 **C) …FUCK YEAH, EXPLOSIONS**

 **Thanks! Remember, prompts through reviews or however, and if you want to commission for some unknown reason, hit me up through PM or email.**


	4. RWBY - Wheelwoman

**Prompt: RWBY are thieves. Good thieves.**

" **Weiss and Blake infiltrate a corporation and steal all of their access codes."**

 **Submitter: Me**

* * *

"Yang, no."

Yang grinned. "Yang, yes."

Weiss sighed and buried her face in her hands. "Where did I go wrong?" she moaned. "Was it when I dropped out of school? Or was it the first time you and Ruby convinced me to help you rob a bank?"

"Good times, right?" Yang laughed. "Nah, Ice Queen, I'm pretty sure it was when you and I finally got -" She shut up quickly at Weiss's frosty glare - and more importantly, the way her fingertip was tapping at the table. The blonde brawler knew that if she kept prodding, Weiss might actually get angry. Which, of course, was why she said, "Oh come on! I know you liked it!" and added a saucy wink for good measure.

"You...!" Weiss was literally at a loss for words, hands flexing as though she was imagining them around Yang's throat. Her pale skin had a pink tinge to it, while her blue eyes were staring daggers. "I... you... argh!"

"Chill, Ice Queen, you're gonna... snap." _Like, cold snap. Heh, still got it!_ A snort from the couch and a loud booing from the kitchen made Yang roll her eyes. "One, that was a two-for-one, which was awesome by itself, and two, those were great. No appreciation here for fine humor."

Blake peeked over the couch from where she was enjoying a book. "You commit atrocities on our language, I hope you know that."

"That's what I keep saying," Weiss sighed.

"You two know you love me."

"Anyway!" Weiss interrupted, slamming her palm back down onto the table. "Before we got off topic, I was telling you why this wasn't a good idea."

Ruby finally wandered in, a steaming mug in each hand. "Weiss, it'll be fine," the young woman said, setting one down on the table near the couch and the other in front of Yang. Both Yang and Blake chorused their thanks. "Besides, have my plans failed before?"

"Well, technically -"

"I mean," Ruby continued hastily, "have we ever gotten caught?"

Even Weiss had to say no, making Yang grin; it'd come close before, but time after time Ruby would come up with a ridiculous, hare-brained scheme off the top of her head, and somehow 'the dolt', as Weiss always said with an affectionate tone, managed to pull it off in the end. That was how Yang managed to keep up with her day job of being a bartender, anyway. Well, night job, as it was. "Fine, fine," Weiss grumped sourly, obviously doing her best to try to appear irritated and just as obviously failing. "Get on with it. That's why we're here, isn't it?"

"Yup!" Ruby chirped. "Lemme just get the other two mugs..." She dashed from the room and returned in a flash, carrying two more steaming mugs of coffee. She moved quickly, but Yang wasn't worried in the slightest. Ruby had always been like that, moving toward her goal without hesitation. Somewhere along the line, it'd turned into moving toward her goal as quickly as possible. "There we go! Anyway, so here's the deal..."

Yang tuned out most of Ruby's little mission debriefing; she'd already been excused from the plan, mainly because she needed to keep her job and skipping on several days of work was probably a very bad idea. Not to mention the fact that she couldn't exactly pull from her... other retirement fund too often without people getting suspicious - that was the first thing Weiss drilled into their heads when she was setting all of the smoke and mirrors up - and rent was coming up.

Really, the only reason she was here in the first place was because Ruby technically didn't have a driver's license, and her little sister was ostensibly visiting a friend from college to catch up.

The things they did to make sure that they were entirely off the grid when it came to their second line of work.

Blake was a natural at this sort of cloak and dagger stuff, and Weiss wasn't too shabby either. _Must be because of growing up with that asshole._ Ever since learning about Weiss's home life, Yang refused to use her father's name, even if he was probably the most powerful man in the country. _Guy's the tooliest tool to ever tool._ Ruby was energetic enough to make up for Yang's typical lack of finesse.

Overall, the four of them were probably the best criminals-slash-spies in town. And according to Ruby's plan, Weiss and Blake were going to be the ones going into steal the sensitive data. _What could go wrong?_

* * *

Yang realized that she'd screwed up about a minute after she thought that, but since she couldn't go back in time and punch herself in the head it was far too late to make herself shut up.

Which was why she wasn't terribly unsurprised to get a frantic text from Ruby on her Scroll about halfway through her shift three days later. _Hey sis need help._ Then, a few seconds later, _Car on hwy 65 inbnd._

Sighing, Yang shot back a text saying she'd be there as soon as possible before swinging by her boss and telling him it was a family emergency. He let her go, though he wasn't exactly thrilled about it; still, she was in one of their backup vehicles and on the road as fast as she could make it to the parking garage on her motorcycle.

Happily singing along to the radio at the top of her voice, she almost missed the van parked on the side of the road with Ruby casually leaning against the hood. After muttering under her breath she turned down the radio and got off the highway at the next stop before doubling back and coming back the opposite way. _The things I do for these people..._ "Hey, sis," she called out as she pulled over onto the shoulder behind Ruby and their van. "Need a lift?"

"You're a lifesaver, Yang," Ruby cheered, rushing over to give Yang a huge hug before dashing back and rummaging through the glove compartment. In the meantime, Weiss and Blake popped the back open and started shifting everything from the broken van to the new one.

Yang hopped out to help. "We dumping this one?" she grunted as she lifted the heavier electrical components. "Or taking it with us?"

"Unless you have a discrete tow service on speed dial," Weiss sniped, "I think we have to let the van get taken."

Yang raised an eyebrow and glanced at Blake; the black-haired girl shrugged. "It was cold in the back of the van, and the modifications made it slightly uncomfortable."

"Gotcha." They all knew how Weiss got when something went wrong. "How'd the, uh, job go?"

"We got everything, at least," Blake said. "Honestly, everything went smoothly until something in the van broke."

Before long, they had everything moved from the old van to the new one, and Yang hopped back into the driver's seat. "Good thing my boss is awesome," she said as the others all got comfortable - Ruby was in the front, while Blake and Weiss were crouched in the back. "By the way, grabbed some fast food on the way, since I figured you'd be hungry. The burger and milkshake's for you, Rubes, the salad's for Weiss, and the fish sandwich is for Blake."

Ruby passed the meals out to their owners and the van was filled with the sound of people munching away. Yang grinned. "Talk about meals on -"

"Shut up, Yang," the others chorused immediately. Yang pouted. _That was a good one, too!_

* * *

 **Y'know, this** _ **was**_ **supposed to be from Weiss or Blake's point of view as they did whatever they had to do, but then Yang happened. (Also yes I totally see her as the type to sing along to the radio as loud as she can.)**

 **It took place in some undetermined Modern!AU, and I'm not entirely sure about the backstory of how they started being awesome white-collar criminals, but whatever. That's the point of this.**

 **Reviews:**

 **1) Did you like the story? Why or why not?**

 **2) Did I give off the vibe of 'they're all really good friends' or something similar to that, or was the character interaction a bit awkward?**

 **3) Would you guys be interested in more of crime!RWBY?**

 **Thanks! Remember, prompts through reviews or however, and if you want to commission me for some unknown reason, hit me up through PM or email.**


	5. Worm - Faerie Godmother

**Prompt: Taylor triggers as one of the Fae**

" **She grants requests and boons - to the letter, not the spirit."**

 **Submitter: Also me.**

* * *

I'd heard the rumors. Everyone had, recently. That there was a parahuman that granted a wish - any wish you wanted - and that they always appeared in the graveyard on a full moon.

It was the full moon tonight, and I was going to have my wish granted.

Sophia, of course, scoffed at my determination. "The hell you want to do something like that?" she sneered after I told her I was going to meet the White Lady.

"It has nothing to do with you," I told her easily. "I've got something I want, and she's the best way to make it happen." There was an art to talking to Sophia; if I phrased something as a request or anything that was 'weak', she'd probably turn me down or make fun of me. But if I told her, made it a demand and expected that she'd obey, nine times out of ten she'd follow along after finding a way to rationalize it to herself. It was all in knowing how to talk to people, after all. Who knew the skills I picked up in modeling would come in this handy?

"Fine, whatever," she said. "Not like I care one way or another. You live you live, you die you die. Just don't expect me to bail you out like last time."

My heart skipped a beat and I blinked. Never again. I'll _never_ be in that position again. "Yeah, yeah, see ya tomorrow. Happy hunting." I hung up my phone and tossed it to my bed.

I knew exactly what I was going to wish for, and for the rest of the day I amused myself by imagining how it'd end up. Even during dinner; my parents didn't even notice that I wasn't paying any attention. Typical, really. I could come home on fire and I doubt they'd notice. This was why it was so important that I have my wish granted.

Before long, it was night, even if it felt like it took days for the sun to set. After double-checking that it was definitely a full moon tonight, I slipped outside without waking my parents. It was dangerous walking around outside, but I didn't care. I was strong, and there was no way I would ever be weak again.

A light fog sprang up as I walked down the silent streets, and I shivered. It was supposed to be a nice night out, but it was freezing... I knew I should have grabbed my coat on the way out, but the closet tended to squeak and I didn't want to risk waking up Mother or Father. They'd try to stop me, and this was my best chance to make sure I didn't ever need their help again. The walk to the old graveyard was silent, giving me plenty of time to repeat my wish over and over again in my head. This was going to work. It was going to work.

I would never be weak again.

When I arrived, the graveyard was cold and a little bit creepy. I looked around, searching for the White Lady, but there was no sign of life other than myself. "Hello?" I called out. "Is the White Lady here? I... I have a wish I want granted!"

There was no response.

Gritting my teeth and moving deeper into the graveyard, I kept searching for the White Lady. She had to be here, she _had_ to be. If she wasn't here, then I'd have come here for nothing. Everything would be for nothing. I'd have thrown -

"Why are you here?"

I froze and whirled around. There she was, hovering over a tombstone; an inhumanly beautiful woman with long white hair, curling gently around the edges. She was white from head to toe, wearing a long white dress with intricate patterns embroidered all over it. Her pale face only served to highlight the pale light her eyes were giving off. I felt like I should recognize her, but the light was mesmerizing.

"Why are you here?" the White Lady repeated, her face not moving an inch. Despite her unchanging beauty, I knew she was impatient.

"B-Because you are going to grant my wish," I told her, hating myself for that brief stuttering.

The White Lady watched me for an agonizing minute before slowly lowering her head. "Very well," she said, and I hid a victorious smirk. "What is your wish?"

I threw my head back and forced my body into one of the poses I'd learned as a model. It always made me feel powerful. "I wish to be strong," I told her, my voice ringing. "I don't care what I have to give up to make it happen. I wish to be the strongest." I will _never_ be weak again.

"I see," the White Lady murmured. "Are you certain?"

"I am."

The White Lady nodded. "Very well. _Your wish is true._ " Her voice took on an odd quality and suddenly everything in the world changed to fit her words.

A heartbeat later I collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.

As I tried to writhe in pain, scream in agony, do _anything_ , the White Lady finally moved. She moved forward, settling down on the ground, and flowed towards me. As she walked, her appearance melted away like mist fleeing from the sun, and I watched with rising horror as my ex-best friend stood in front of me. "I've granted your wish," Taylor said, eyes inscrutable as she crouched down to look me in the eyes. "You're the strongest person in the world. Stronger than anything else."

I tried to ask something, but I couldn't move.

"But you only asked for strength," she continued on blithely, eyes never leaving my face. "You didn't ask for the ability to withstand your own strength. Right now, your muscles have torn themselves apart, I guess. Your heart probably burst after one contraction. And do you know why I did this, Emma? Because this is who I am. I am who you made me, Emma.

"I am Mab."

Taylor stood and walked away, the mists swallowing her up as she left me to die.

* * *

 **Taylor's power set is basically Changer 1 (to make her look like one of the Fae and to account for her glamours) and Shaker YES (Her proclamations are essentially indefinite-duration localized reality rewriting to suit the wish.) The main reason she did that to Emma is because when she's the White Lady, she isn't exactly human – and trigger events aren't exactly pleasant. She couldn't have her own wish granted, so her power grants it to others.**

 **So! Reviews:**

 **1) Did you like the story? Why or why not?**

 **2) Did Taylor's power make sense?**

 **3) How did I write Emma's perspective? What do you think her thoughts were like?**

 **Thanks!**


	6. Sword Art Online - Ah! My Klein

**Prompt: Klein + Skuld OTP**

 **Prompt by: ThatGalladeAcrossTheStreet**

" **A day in the relationship(?) of Klein and Skuld."**

* * *

"Hey, Klein," Kirito said with a small wave. "What's up?"

Klein grinned. "Not much. Just..." He lowered his voice conspiratorially and leaned in close. "...Just goin' on a date!"

Kirito blinked and looked at the red-haired samurai, taking his eyes off of the sword he was polishing. "In the game?"

"Yeah! You've met her, remember?"

"No..." Kirito mumbled, putting his hand to his chin. "I can't say I remember meeting anyone desperate enough to go on a date with you..."

Klein gasped in exaggerated shock. "How dare you?" he demanded. "I'll have you know I'm highly in demand!"

"By people who are blind, deaf, or both," Liz called out from her forge.

"Shut it, you," Klein snarled playfully. "It's Skuld, guys. Remember, from the Excalibur quest"

A sudden clatter from the forge made him look over; Liz had dropped whatever she was working on into the fires as she stared at Klein in total shock. After a second, she looked down and swore loudly before scrambling to grab it out of the flames. "Wait, you actually got her number?"

"Uh, yeah?" Klein raised an eyebrow. They'd all watched him get it. "Anyway, gotta go! See ya!"

"Um... bye..." Liz managed to get out, her voice still a little distant as she started hammering another ingot absently.

Klein strolled out of her smithing shop and walked down the road, whistling to himself.

A few moments later, he heard Liz shouting, "Asuna! The world stopped making sense!"

 _Hm. Something must be going on,_ he thought. And then thought nothing more about it, because he was going to meet the lovely Lady Skuld! It was a fantastic day for him; they'd exchanged messages from time to time, and he finally managed to gather up the courage to ask her out on a date.

He'd been so excited when she said yes, he stood up from his chair and whooped. Unfortunately, he was still at work, leading to a rather awkward question-answer session with his boss.

But that was all in the past, Klein knew. _Goodbye sad, lonely Ryoutarou, hello person-in-a-relationship Ryoutarou,_ he crowed to himself.

He got to the point where he was supposed to meet Skuld and looked around; the goddess wasn't anywhere to be seen. After a moment of panic, thinking she'd stood him up - and wouldn't that be a joke? - he shook his head and took a seat on a nearby bench. She'd show up, and besides, it was a man's job to wait for the lady to be ready.

"I'm sorry, have you been waiting long?"

"Wha?" Klein jerked and looked around wildly. He'd almost dozed off and his hand was on the hilt of his katana in a heartbeat, almost drawing it before he realized he was safe in town in Alfheim. Old habits died hard, especially when they saved your life more than once. "Oh! Lady Skuld!" Bowing his head briefly, he smiled. "No, not at all. I just got here." He gave her his patented lady-killer smile. "You look lovely."

Skuld smiled at him. "You're very kind to say." She had removed the helmet she'd been wearing when he first saw her, although other than that her appearance hadn't changed. "Shall we go?"

"Of course!"

* * *

"It was unreal," Liz complained to Asuna and Leafa. "I can't believe the date actually went _well_! He even got a kiss at the end and everything."

"You should have more faith in Klein," Yui scolded her gently. "He's a good person!"

Liz sighed, grinning apologetically at the tiny pixie. "I know, Yui, it's just... he's _Klein_ ," she said, as though that explained everything.

Leafa giggled. "I'm glad you let us know this was going on. It was fun sneaking around after them and watching."

"I gave up trying to understand what was going on when they started doing that cutesy spoon-feeding stuff," Liz sighed. "I mean, we already get enough of the saccharine mush whenever Asuna's with Kirito..."

Asuna smiled weakly. "We're not _always_ like that..." She trailed off as the other girls all turned and gave her a flat stare. The unspoken message: 'yes, you _are_ always like that, and don't try to deny it.'

Deep down, Liz was happy for Klein. She respected the guy a lot, and she hadn't ever seen him this happy before.

Of course, she was still gonna mess with him. There was no way she was giving _that_ up, even if his new girlfriend was a goddess.

* * *

 **Eh… Not my best work, not really all that proud of this one. Sorry to the prompt owner if I failed to live up to expectations. Main notes I wanted to hit I hit – Klein still being affected by Aincrad, no matter how much he fronts, Liz actually being happy for the big lug, stuff like that – but I didn't get much in it. My muse refused to provide.**

 **Rssm frssm. That's what I get for modeling my mental image of her off of a fallen angel (Lasciel, for those wondering.)**

 **Anyway!**

 **1) Did you like the snippet? Why or why not?**

 **2) Did I do well with the voices? Which ones? Which ones can I work on?**

 **Thanks, everyone. Standard spiel for prompts here.**


	7. RWBY - Stolen Strawberries

**Prompt: Stolen Strawberries**

" **Nora takes one of Ruby's strawberries. What happens afterwards makes everyone terrified of Ruby."**

 **Submitter: Smithrooks**

* * *

 _This is going to be the best cake ever!_

The kitchen was currently in use by one Ruby Rose, in strict defiance of the posted rules. After one too many Dust explosions, she had been banned from the kitchens for the foreseeable future, according to Goodwitch. But it wasn't her fault, Ruby knew. It was the fault of the builders, because they didn't make ovens big enough to bake the cookies needed to fuel her Semblance.

So, she had to make do by sneaking in when none of the cooks were around, and when Goodwitch was off doing whatever teachers did when they weren't teaching. Which was, in Professor Goodwitch's case and in Ruby's considered opinion, sleeping in their coffin.

Currently, Ruby was in the middle of making a huge cake for her entire team to enjoy. It was going to be chocolate and vanilla cake, with white frosting and strawberries dotting the top! It even _matched_ Team RWBY! So it was super-duper awesome!

She'd made the cake, made the frosting, only ate a little bit of frosting from the bowl - okay, so it was a lot of frosting, but she made a lot extra! - and all that was left was adding the...

...Wait.

"Nora?" Ruby asked, staring at the orange-haired intruder? "What are you doing?"

"Ea'in' a s'rawbewwy," Nora said through a mouthful of glorious red deliciousness. "Wan' one?"

Everyone, everywhere, heard a soft cracking sound. Professor Port, after several anecdotes and bluster, would claim it was similar to a sound that he'd heard once when a mother had heard when she witnessed a Beowolf attack her young baby. Fox would, when Coco was out of earshot, would state that he heard it the last time a Grimm dared leave claw marks on her new bag.

It was the sound of reality breaking in two from sheer rage.

"Nora," Ruby said very, very calmly, "those strawberries were for the cake. Did how many did you eat?"

"Uhm..." Nora swallowed. "...All of them?" she said, staring at the empty bowl in her hands.

"Nora?"

"...Yes?"

In a spray of rose petals, Crescent Rose was unsheathed. " _Run._ "

* * *

"Okay!" Ruby chirped, staring at all of Team JNPR. "So, just so we're all clear, you're not gonna take the strawberries without asking next time, right?"

Nora nodded.

"And you're not going to mention this to Weiss, Blake, or Yang, right?"

Nora nodded.

"Okay, great. Sorry about this, you three," she apologized to the other three members of JNPR. "I didn't mean to barge in like this. Sorry again!" she called as she left, slipping out of their dorm room and shutting the door behind her.

Nora nodded.

Ren looked at the valkyrie, her head bobbing up and down in mindless terror, and blinked. He'd seen her in so many different states: happy, upset, manic, in a berseker rage, undressed - though that one wasn't his fault - and mad; however, this was the first time he'd ever seen her like this. "Nora?" he murmured.

Nora nodded.

"She's gone," he said. "You can stop."

Nora nodded.

"T-t-that," Jaune stammered. "What was that?"

"I... I've never seen Ruby like that," Pyrrha breathed. "That was absolutely terrifying."

"Okay, team," Jaune said, his voice finally firm again. "New rule: we never, _ever_ piss off any single member of RWBY."

Ren agreed whole-heartedly with that. Yang would destroy them with her bare hands, Weiss was… well, Weiss was Weiss and he wanted to avoid incurring her wrath on a good day, Blake was incredibly good at getting even, and Ruby… Ren never wanted to see that again.

Nora nodded.

* * *

Ozpin stood at the top of his tower, sipping idly at his coffee. "Interesting," he said. "Very interesting."

Behind him, Glynda burst into the room. "Headmaster, what happened? I was grading papers, and I exited the classroom to... Good lord! Is the entire campus covered?"

She'd finally seen the sight Ozpin had been staring at this whole time - all of Beacon Academy was covered in a thin layer of rose petals. Every square inch of the yards and pathways was covered, with the exception of small smoking craters marring the landscape here and there. "It seems Miss Rose and Miss Valkyrie have had a small disagreement," he observed. "I believe it has been resolved to Miss Rose's satisfaction, however."

He took another sip of his coffee and wondered if he'd somehow accidentally taken a cup of Bartholomew's coffee again.

* * *

 **Don't mess with Ruby. She will fuck you up.**

 **Anyway, hope this one satisfied the requester. I did my best; I feel the 'what happened next' works better as a Noodle Incident when all's said and done. Showing the aftermath should be more effective the less the reader knows about what actually happened. Hopefully, I succeeded with that. Though, I probably didn't. Because I'm terrible at my job.**

 **Right! Review time:**

 **A) Did you like the story? Why or why not?**

 **B) Did I capture the horror of Ruby's revenge? How could I have done it better?**

 **Thanks, guys. And remember, if you want to give me a prompt, just give it to me in the review. And if you want to commission something specific, send me a PM or email.**


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